We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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