So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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