Grow some girl-balls and come out already
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
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