he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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