I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Is Oprah even human
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Randomize
