now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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