are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
