Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
