I'm so fucking centered right now
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
