Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
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