New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
Enjoy the penises
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Randomize
