I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize