Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Randomize
