called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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