Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Randomize
