Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Randomize