i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
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