So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
Randomize
