Sry I called you an 8
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
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