Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Randomize
