GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize