Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize