you guys were way drunker than both of me
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
I intend to get homeless drunk
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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