im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
