honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
foreskin is a definite game changer
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
