That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Randomize
