I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Randomize
