The brown eye won't let me do that either.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
I think I sprained my soul last night
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Randomize