Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize
