Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize