I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
