just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
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