Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize