Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Randomize
