I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
