Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
I'm too high and old for this...
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Randomize
