I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
you never un-have a 4some
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
Randomize
