Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
Everything about him screamed your future.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Couch. On fire.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Randomize
