He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
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