We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
