just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Randomize