Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
Randomize
