Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
We were destined to go to rehab together
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
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