He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Randomize
