oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
Randomize
