Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
We were destined to go to rehab together
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
