I'm eating all of the evidence.
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Randomize