but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
