what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
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