I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Randomize
