do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Randomize
