you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
