I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Randomize
