drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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