i was rollin on her like bob the builder
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
Randomize
