What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
It's just like the Real World with babies
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Randomize
