i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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