You can't special order awesome
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
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