I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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