East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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