I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
i drank out of a bidet.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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