Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Randomize