My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
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