It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Send help, water and tortillas.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Randomize
