he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
