I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
Randomize
