saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
