i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize