meet me or not, i'm out of control
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
