Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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