just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
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