you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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