he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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