she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
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