I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
