Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
I queefed so loud it echoed.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Randomize
