i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
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