he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Drunk is a universal language darling
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize