margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
