hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Randomize