I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Randomize
