it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
I'm laying in your front yard are you home
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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