You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
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