He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
