Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
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