It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
