I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
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