stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Randomize